10.25.06

hmm.. what’s there to post?

Posted in Uncategorized, diary at 7:54 am by cj

whose there to read?
blogging.. i don’t miss it actually, but i feel i owe an update.. though nobody’s reading naman.

as of my last post, I was very angry.. all the words you can refer to to it, would best describe how i felt at that time. i felt betrayed and used.. for the second time around. it was a shame in short.
to make it worst, it was just the start of my agony.. it may sound so drama, but i really went through so much.. so much, that at one point i thought I was insane.. ahaha. it may not be obvious, but i felt crazy at one time. crying and laughing at the same time.. can be the worst and best feeling. it left a scar.. and that one can’t be erase. i have to step up… i have to move on and not hold back. it was full of misery.. i never really expected that will happen again, not with him. but it happened.. and all is history now.

so.. what’s there to post? after those shaking moments i had.. its time for me to end all the misery and find some sort of comfort in my life. ive always had one but always ignore it. God has always been there.. and it needed a lil shaking to remind me that He has always been there. I made wrong decisions.. and the consequences are forever, but it did give me strength to endure everything. It made me realize a lot of things about myself, my faith, my life totally.. I can’t say, i have moved on already.. slowly, im in the process of getting my life started.. it was all mixed up at that time, there is the thesis and that. thesis.. shooked everything really. it was journey unravelling the lessons ive learned in school and in my existence. it tested my ability to tolerate other people.. which was a challenge,dealing with your friends.. in a very exruciating time, waah.. it was a tough one. beating deadline is another story.. but with all the help of God, we were able to finish it.. it wasn’t easy, but it was all worth it.
speaking of it, finally…. i’m done, after 3 and 1/2 years.. im so done with studying, though.. the plans of OZ will still push through, it is such a joy to see the fruits of my parent’s labour. and of course.. ME! i still cant describe all the feeling… but wait till Novemebr 29, my big day.. oh, i can’t imagine.. am i gonna cry? though… some of my blockmates weren’t able to beat the deadline, i wish we would all march.. and smile with all pride holding our diplomas! but, i know.. God has wonderful plans.. for everyone of us….. for you and for me. He has reasons why we have to endure all this.. and all we can do is submit ourselves. I am trusting Him now.. fully, another chapter of my life is closed… and I am to embrace another one.. my career. I still dunno.. what will happen, I am praying.. but I doubt it wouldn’t be the best for me.
and for the love life’s sake… hmmm, i know and i trust that GOd is still writing my story… i have to enjoy my singlehood…. and yes, i am…. it maybe sad at times after all that happened, but… I have friends, though some time i feel i dont have one, I know i have…. and I thank God for them.. and also my family. They kept me insanely good all throughout.

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